I just don't see it this way. I know this is the stereotype for today but is it back by data.

First people only have kids for a quarter of their lives (if they have them at all) so the taking care of kids is a part time thing.

My mom was a stay at home mom so you would think that she would have most of the burden of emotional labor but not so. My dad coached our little league teams and was our scout master. He took us boys (me and my brother, we had a sister too) on weekend adventures away from home for the day. He built me a rocket launch pad and showed me how to build rockets.

I sister and I were big in School Band and dad led the Music Boosters that raised money for School Music. We visited my dad's family more than my mom's (we lived closer to his family) and dad arranged those visits. When we had summer vacations dad always planned them.

My mom cooking and cleaning was her job, her share of the division of labor just like my dads share was running his business.

In my first marriage, I went to work way more hours than my wife but I still did my share of the cooking and household chores. She had her daughter doing the laundry. I carted the kids around as much as she did. Her mom organized and did most of the social stuff including our wedding reception. I did the rehearsal dinner. When she got Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, I was the one to deal with the hospital, doctors, and days at her bedside. I was the one to file the taxes, pay the bills get insurance.

Among my peers, things are similar. I don't know the families that are like the one in your story. My circle is not like that. When we have a pot luck at work, most of the food is prepared by men. Yeah, one guy (young guy, lives at home) his mom cooks what he brings. Yes, the women bring stuff they make but guys bring Gumbo, Chili, Pulled Pork, Smoked Brisket or Jambalaya they made themselves. I bring deviled eggs I make myself.

These stereotypical guys not doing their share of emotional labor, I just don't know any of them. If it was not for women writing on here about them, I would not even know they exist.

Around here when we decide to throw a party it is usually the man who does the heavy lifting. Got to get the sack of crawfish, corn, sausage, potatoes, garliic, setup the tables and pavilion, fire up the pot, buy the beer get the ice boil the crawfish. The women just put out the tablecloths and enjoy the day. The guys even do the cleanup.

The other party the boat party, it is the guy who gasses the boat, checks the safety equipment, launches the drives the boat, has the captain's responsivities. Gets the boat back on the trailer, cleans the boat and puts it back into storage.

Maybe you don't but around here, women are crazy happy to go out on the boat. If we happen to be shrimping, you should see the smiles with them playing with all the animals in the bycatch. They like the shrimp too.

TEK