I think you might be overthinking the gold thing and not all gold is equal and you don't say anything about silver which is better than gold for smaller transactions. Gold and Silver Eagle coins don't need a professional appraiser, not easy to counterfeit and counterfeits are easy to identify.
You also sort of contradict yourself, if gold is not good why would anyone want to steal it. Gold is very liquid. We have cash for gold places all over but they don't offer good value.
TEK