You mention 12 steps and Christianity but not the Serenity prayer which to my mind captures your whole story in a nice verse. You must know it. I am not a practicing Christian but I find wisdom in this verse.

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

My Dad died too young, had our house badly damage from Katrina, my Wife died after a long illness, I got laid off, my Mom died the week before our plan for me to come live with her. I traveled around the country reconnecting with old friends, got a new job, better job got remarried. This pandemic is a walk in the park. While I was laid off I was not looking for a job. I was thinking I was retired. I realized I was just marking time not doing much including doing a bad job of taking care of myself. The easy life is a rotten life.

TEK